Comments for Parents of Children and Teens With OCD http://www.parentsofocd.org A safe place to support and discuss the parenting challenges of kids with OCD. Mon, 08 Aug 2011 14:52:17 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.1 Comment on OCD and Triggers (a foul word)—Avoid them, or Prepare for Them by Vlybbs http://www.parentsofocd.org/2011/06/21/ocd-and-triggers-a-foul-word-avoid-them-or-prepare-for-them/comment-page-1/#comment-37 Vlybbs Mon, 08 Aug 2011 14:52:17 +0000 http://www.parentsofocd.org/?p=118#comment-37 Thank you for this post, because as I'm new to this still, I'm definitely learning the "triggers." It's funny that you mention birthdays, because I used to think that my daughter planning her birthday party 2 months in advance, complete with outline, short narrative, and daily meetings and briefings leading up to the big day was cute and only slightly annoying. Later I realized that her obsession with each party being perfect and planned out down to a T, without any variation, was a sure sign of things to come. We now only celebrate the milestone birthdays (her 13th just passed). Her main triggers are stress-related and then she pins that on germs, fashion (we go through 7 outfits in the morning before she heads out the door), and over analyzing any situation she can get her thoughts on. We're still figuring out how to deal with or just plain avoid them. :) Thank you for this post, because as I’m new to this still, I’m definitely learning the “triggers.” It’s funny that you mention birthdays, because I used to think that my daughter planning her birthday party 2 months in advance, complete with outline, short narrative, and daily meetings and briefings leading up to the big day was cute and only slightly annoying. Later I realized that her obsession with each party being perfect and planned out down to a T, without any variation, was a sure sign of things to come. We now only celebrate the milestone birthdays (her 13th just passed). Her main triggers are stress-related and then she pins that on germs, fashion (we go through 7 outfits in the morning before she heads out the door), and over analyzing any situation she can get her thoughts on. We’re still figuring out how to deal with or just plain avoid them. :)

]]> Comment on Energy “Use” in the OCD Brain-Very Interesting by Mom http://www.parentsofocd.org/2011/04/09/energy-use-in-the-ocd-brain-very-interesting/comment-page-1/#comment-26 Mom Sat, 07 May 2011 20:49:03 +0000 http://www.parentsofocd.org/?p=98#comment-26 I'm SO sad to hear that your daughter has got one of those teachers that seems to be bent on making a point, not just teaching the material. I have scheduled many an appointment with the teacher and principal for situations just like this. I usually start by stating my case to the teacher in an email with a cc to the principal. I always state only the facts as we see them, advocating for my child and stating things I know to be true, such as, " I know that you and I share in the same goal here, which is for my daughter to succeed and to gain a full understanding of this subject." I made it very clear to them that my expectations as a parent were for my daughter to be "taught". If she did the assignments, she should get the credit, as any student should. It may be time for him to re-assess his policies re: compassion of <strong>all</strong> his students, not just those with special needs. He seems to be getting caught up in his rules and details and forgetting how important it is not to break the spirit of his students. I, personally, wouldn't let this particular "nameless" assignment issue go until she got full credit, no matter how "sticky" it got. It may require printing out some material on kids with OCD and how it affects their school work. Whatever communication you send, cc the principal...always be friendly and factual and just joining him in the effort to help your daughter succeed. Make sure he knows how much you appreciate what he does and that you look forward to working together with him on your daughter's behalf. For future purposes, you need to be sure that the principal creates a "file" for your daughter. This will include copies of emails, printouts you may send, and information re: "Section 504" for your daughter. I'm planning on doing a separate entry that will include this in a day or so, complete with links. Anyway, I think sometimes teachers don't realize what these kids' lives are like. It may be time to have a sit-down in the principal's office. I always have copies made copies for whoever was going to be there, and lists of my daughter's symptoms (highlighting the ones that might affect her school work). You may (soon) want to schedule the meeting that sets up her Section 504, so the principal will schedule it with additional school professionals. This will guarantee that some accommodations are in place for your daughter's educational needs as long as she's in public school. Good luck to you. I'll try to get my next blog posted soon. I hope this helped! I’m SO sad to hear that your daughter has got one of those teachers that seems to be bent on making a point, not just teaching the material. I have scheduled many an appointment with the teacher and principal for situations just like this. I usually start by stating my case to the teacher in an email with a cc to the principal. I always state only the facts as we see them, advocating for my child and stating things I know to be true, such as, ” I know that you and I share in the same goal here, which is for my daughter to succeed and to gain a full understanding of this subject.” I made it very clear to them that my expectations as a parent were for my daughter to be “taught”. If she did the assignments, she should get the credit, as any student should. It may be time for him to re-assess his policies re: compassion of all his students, not just those with special needs. He seems to be getting caught up in his rules and details and forgetting how important it is not to break the spirit of his students. I, personally, wouldn’t let this particular “nameless” assignment issue go until she got full credit, no matter how “sticky” it got. It may require printing out some material on kids with OCD and how it affects their school work. Whatever communication you send, cc the principal…always be friendly and factual and just joining him in the effort to help your daughter succeed. Make sure he knows how much you appreciate what he does and that you look forward to working together with him on your daughter’s behalf. For future purposes, you need to be sure that the principal creates a “file” for your daughter. This will include copies of emails, printouts you may send, and information re: “Section 504″ for your daughter. I’m planning on doing a separate entry that will include this in a day or so, complete with links.

Anyway, I think sometimes teachers don’t realize what these kids’ lives are like. It may be time to have a sit-down in the principal’s office. I always have copies made copies for whoever was going to be there, and lists of my daughter’s symptoms (highlighting the ones that might affect her school work). You may (soon) want to schedule the meeting that sets up her Section 504, so the principal will schedule it with additional school professionals. This will guarantee that some accommodations are in place for your daughter’s educational needs as long as she’s in public school.

Good luck to you. I’ll try to get my next blog posted soon. I hope this helped!

]]> Comment on Energy “Use” in the OCD Brain-Very Interesting by Vlybbs http://www.parentsofocd.org/2011/04/09/energy-use-in-the-ocd-brain-very-interesting/comment-page-1/#comment-24 Vlybbs Mon, 02 May 2011 02:23:41 +0000 http://www.parentsofocd.org/?p=98#comment-24 I totally understand the anonymity issue. No worries! I don't use our real names either. Thank you for the advice on the insurance. I'm actually going to call my provider tomorrow to see if they will allow me to pay out of pocket and then reimburse me if I choose my own therapist. We'll see. About the teacher issue, middle school teachers are killing us! The homework load is massive and my daughter worked for 2 hours on an assignment one night (her friends only spent 45 minutes on it) only to have her math teacher give her a zero for no name. She was beyond devastated and the frustration and setbacks she endured was terrible. The punishment did not fit the crime and the teacher was absolutely rude when we asked her to reconsider considering our daughter's needs. It was very frustrating indeed. I'd love to hear your thoughts on how to handle or approach teachers. I was considering a conference but did not know now to approach it or what my options were. Thank you for responding and I look forward to learning a lot from you. :) I totally understand the anonymity issue. No worries! I don’t use our real names either.

Thank you for the advice on the insurance. I’m actually going to call my provider tomorrow to see if they will allow me to pay out of pocket and then reimburse me if I choose my own therapist. We’ll see.

About the teacher issue, middle school teachers are killing us! The homework load is massive and my daughter worked for 2 hours on an assignment one night (her friends only spent 45 minutes on it) only to have her math teacher give her a zero for no name. She was beyond devastated and the frustration and setbacks she endured was terrible. The punishment did not fit the crime and the teacher was absolutely rude when we asked her to reconsider considering our daughter’s needs. It was very frustrating indeed. I’d love to hear your thoughts on how to handle or approach teachers. I was considering a conference but did not know now to approach it or what my options were.

Thank you for responding and I look forward to learning a lot from you. :)

]]> Comment on Energy “Use” in the OCD Brain-Very Interesting by Mom http://www.parentsofocd.org/2011/04/09/energy-use-in-the-ocd-brain-very-interesting/comment-page-1/#comment-22 Mom Tue, 26 Apr 2011 03:52:11 +0000 http://www.parentsofocd.org/?p=98#comment-22 Hi V, I appreciated reading your blog and composed a comment, but was unfortunately, unable to post it without compromising my (my daughter's) anonymity. For some technical reason, I was unable to sign in with my WordPress acct. (one option), and my BlogSpot username is my actual name, which I can't use here (the privacy thing :). Anyway, I think you'll find that journaling and sharing your experience is rather cathartic and knowing you might be a support or give ideas to other parents somehow helps as you're making mental notes of how your days pan out. Anyway, here's my response to the post on your blog... I totally understand what you are feeling and the despair at watching your daughter suffer with these rituals and symptoms. Don't beat yourself up for not "getting it" sooner. When you're "not on that page", it can definitely look like behavior issues. When it finally does click in your head and you put it together, then is the time that you can actually start being productive about helping her, or seeking help. --One thing I notice with my daughter is that the more comfortable in her ritual she becomes, the less she wants to have a doctor help her overcome it. This is just my observation. --Also, have you called your insurance company for a list of participating providers? Our ins. covers unlimited outpatient mental health visits per year, with a regular copay. It might be worth checking into if you haven't already. -- You might want to "stealthily" have a visit with your daughter's teachers and ask them if they could modify her assignments. She may even need more time for tests, etc. I'll talk more about this on my blog soon, but most teachers are very helpful and want your child to succeed. --I wish you all the best and will follow along with you on your journey. I hope you will follow along with me on mine as well! -- Mom Hi V,
I appreciated reading your blog and composed a comment, but was unfortunately, unable to post it without compromising my (my daughter’s) anonymity. For some technical reason, I was unable to sign in with my WordPress acct. (one option), and my BlogSpot username is my actual name, which I can’t use here (the privacy thing :) . Anyway, I think you’ll find that journaling and sharing your experience is rather cathartic and knowing you might be a support or give ideas to other parents somehow helps as you’re making mental notes of how your days pan out.

Anyway, here’s my response to the post on your blog…
I totally understand what you are feeling and the despair at watching your daughter suffer with these rituals and symptoms. Don’t beat yourself up for not “getting it” sooner. When you’re “not on that page”, it can definitely look like behavior issues. When it finally does click in your head and you put it together, then is the time that you can actually start being productive about helping her, or seeking help. –One thing I notice with my daughter is that the more comfortable in her ritual she becomes, the less she wants to have a doctor help her overcome it. This is just my observation. –Also, have you called your insurance company for a list of participating providers? Our ins. covers unlimited outpatient mental health visits per year, with a regular copay. It might be worth checking into if you haven’t already. — You might want to “stealthily” have a visit with your daughter’s teachers and ask them if they could modify her assignments. She may even need more time for tests, etc. I’ll talk more about this on my blog soon, but most teachers are very helpful and want your child to succeed. –I wish you all the best and will follow along with you on your journey. I hope you will follow along with me on mine as well! — Mom

]]> Comment on Energy “Use” in the OCD Brain-Very Interesting by Vlybbs http://www.parentsofocd.org/2011/04/09/energy-use-in-the-ocd-brain-very-interesting/comment-page-1/#comment-20 Vlybbs Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:01:08 +0000 http://www.parentsofocd.org/?p=98#comment-20 My 13yr old daughter was diagnosed with OCD this year, though I suspected it for quite some time. One of those moments where a mother's intuition is ignored despite the evidence. From what I've read from your blog, I can tell this will serve as a great source to me of not only information but also as a place to come to when I feel alone in this as a parent. I started my blog but more as a way to keep the extended family in the "know" about our progress as we live in a different state. But it also serves as a way to journal our journey that has only just begun. http://obsessingthroughlife.blogspot.com/ Thank you for being willing to write this blog and lead those of us who are still trying to find our way through this as parents of children suffering from OCD. My 13yr old daughter was diagnosed with OCD this year, though I suspected it for quite some time. One of those moments where a mother’s intuition is ignored despite the evidence. From what I’ve read from your blog, I can tell this will serve as a great source to me of not only information but also as a place to come to when I feel alone in this as a parent.

I started my blog but more as a way to keep the extended family in the “know” about our progress as we live in a different state. But it also serves as a way to journal our journey that has only just begun.
http://obsessingthroughlife.blogspot.com/

Thank you for being willing to write this blog and lead those of us who are still trying to find our way through this as parents of children suffering from OCD.

]]> Comment on Spoiled Baby or “Budding” Rituals? by Mom http://www.parentsofocd.org/2011/01/09/spoiled-baby-or-budding-rituals/comment-page-1/#comment-16 Mom Thu, 17 Mar 2011 05:43:33 +0000 http://www.parentsofocd.org/?p=92#comment-16 I'm so sorry I've taken so long to respond to your comment. It's certainly not due to lack of interest, I assure you...never! Your story is like reading our own. Our bath-time rituals were some of the hardest to overcome, as they ran right into our bed-time rituals. Our evening started around 7:00 (after the whole meal thing), then ran right through to around 11:00 most nights. --The fixating on one parent thing is very familiar to us as you can see by several of my posts. I'm happy to report that it eased up a great deal over the years here in our house. Unfortunately, it makes life for both of you while it's happening, really difficult. Even with the meds, it can still be really hard and take so much patience and so many tears to get through each day. --Our daughter was in public school from K-3rd grade after being in church pre-K. I always made a point of meeting with the teachers prior to school starting and making sure that she got to see the room, meet the teacher herself, sit in her desk, and ask any questions she had. I'd take a picture of her with the teacher by her desk, etc. Also, we'd go and look at the lunchroom, etc. and meet the music teacher, check out the gym, meet the PE teacher, the principal, and anything else that could come up. Before school starts, meet with the school and take in a letter from your doctor stating that Cooper qualifies for special accommodations under a "Section 504", which will guarantee that the school will do whatever necessary to insure that his educational needs be met, whatever they may turn out to be, as they come up. You will need to set up a meeting with the principal, the Special Ed. teacher, Cooper's teacher, and the school counselor probably. They will ask you a few questions just to validate his needs and ask what you think they can do to accommodate him. Then, when you have all this on file, you're good to go for the public school system. We had a fairly positive experience for the first year and a moderate experience for the balance of her years there at our neighborhood school. --At the 4th grade, we chose to move our daughter (and our son, 10 years earlier) to our church school, 20 miles away, near my husband's work, and to the more gentle environment with so many fewer kids. Since it's a church school and not federally funded, they didn't require a Section 504 to accommodate her needs. The teachers always let me bring her up to get acquainted with the classroom and visit wherever she needed to before the school year. The beauty of the church/private school with the smaller class sizes is you have much better handle on (however crude this may sound) the quality of your son's day and how it goes, with fewer variables. The staff has fewer restrictions as far as working with you to accommodate various "symptoms" and "rituals" that he simply MUST carry out privately, but would rather not have any classmates know about. The likelihood of teasing is far less likely as well. We found that as our daughter got a little older, she chose which really close friend or two to confide in, that she believed would stick by her no matter what. I did share with several parents on a strictly need to know basis. I felt like this helped on several field trips, etc. where I needed extra "coverage". --I need to wind up for tonight, but wanted to let you know I'm still here! I'll finish up my post tomorrow evening if I can!... You're not alone. I’m so sorry I’ve taken so long to respond to your comment. It’s certainly not due to lack of interest, I assure you…never! Your story is like reading our own. Our bath-time rituals were some of the hardest to overcome, as they ran right into our bed-time rituals. Our evening started around 7:00 (after the whole meal thing), then ran right through to around 11:00 most nights. –The fixating on one parent thing is very familiar to us as you can see by several of my posts. I’m happy to report that it eased up a great deal over the years here in our house. Unfortunately, it makes life for both of you while it’s happening, really difficult. Even with the meds, it can still be really hard and take so much patience and so many tears to get through each day. –Our daughter was in public school from K-3rd grade after being in church pre-K. I always made a point of meeting with the teachers prior to school starting and making sure that she got to see the room, meet the teacher herself, sit in her desk, and ask any questions she had. I’d take a picture of her with the teacher by her desk, etc. Also, we’d go and look at the lunchroom, etc. and meet the music teacher, check out the gym, meet the PE teacher, the principal, and anything else that could come up. Before school starts, meet with the school and take in a letter from your doctor stating that Cooper qualifies for special accommodations under a “Section 504″, which will guarantee that the school will do whatever necessary to insure that his educational needs be met, whatever they may turn out to be, as they come up. You will need to set up a meeting with the principal, the Special Ed. teacher, Cooper’s teacher, and the school counselor probably. They will ask you a few questions just to validate his needs and ask what you think they can do to accommodate him. Then, when you have all this on file, you’re good to go for the public school system. We had a fairly positive experience for the first year and a moderate experience for the balance of her years there at our neighborhood school. –At the 4th grade, we chose to move our daughter (and our son, 10 years earlier) to our church school, 20 miles away, near my husband’s work, and to the more gentle environment with so many fewer kids. Since it’s a church school and not federally funded, they didn’t require a Section 504 to accommodate her needs. The teachers always let me bring her up to get acquainted with the classroom and visit wherever she needed to before the school year. The beauty of the church/private school with the smaller class sizes is you have much better handle on (however crude this may sound) the quality of your son’s day and how it goes, with fewer variables. The staff has fewer restrictions as far as working with you to accommodate various “symptoms” and “rituals” that he simply MUST carry out privately, but would rather not have any classmates know about. The likelihood of teasing is far less likely as well. We found that as our daughter got a little older, she chose which really close friend or two to confide in, that she believed would stick by her no matter what. I did share with several parents on a strictly need to know basis. I felt like this helped on several field trips, etc. where I needed extra “coverage”. –I need to wind up for tonight, but wanted to let you know I’m still here! I’ll finish up my post tomorrow evening if I can!… You’re not alone.

]]> Comment on Spoiled Baby or “Budding” Rituals? by whollan1 http://www.parentsofocd.org/2011/01/09/spoiled-baby-or-budding-rituals/comment-page-1/#comment-15 whollan1 Sat, 12 Mar 2011 13:43:26 +0000 http://www.parentsofocd.org/?p=92#comment-15 This is what a typical day would look like for us prior to our son being diagnosed and put on medicine. Our son wakes up and comes into our room looking for me. If my husband talked to him first he fell out on the floor kicking and screaming. He wanted absolutely nothing to do with his dad. He would scream at him, not let him touch him, told him he didn't love him, etc. etc. So I would get up with him and take him to his bathroom so he could use the potty. His potty stool had to have it's sticker facing out or otherwise he would move it. He had to be the one to flush the toilet. If I accidentally flushed it without thinking it was absolutely the end of the world and I would regret it for the rest of the day. So then I help him put on his clothes and he only wants red clothing items. And they better not have tags on them or else I had to cut them out or he wasn't wearing them. We would leave the bathroom and he would walk thru one hallway and I would have to walk thru the other or else he would tantrum. He had to get to the den first or else he would tantrum. If he takes a shower he only wanted a red towel. Had to have a washcloth for his face if water got on it. And our shower has double doors and you could only get him out of one specific door everyday. His breakfast food had to be arranged on his plate in a certain fashion and if his cracker was broken or missing a corner he would not eat it and demand a new one or tantrum. Then he would play with his trains and if the train wheels had hair on them then I would have to wash them off before he would play with them. If the train wheels got off the track or the train didn't operate just the way he wanted he would tantrum. I had to give him plenty of notice before we left for school so it didn't happen unexpectedly. He had to have certain things in the car with him or else he would tantrum (chapstick, sunglasses, black gloves). One day we left his navy blue coat at school and all we had was a brown one at home and I thought I was going to have to break into that school and get it. That is how bad the tantrum was. I would panic everytime we would get in the car worried that I would forget something or do something wrong. I was on eggshells. Only I could take him to school during this period and only I could pick him up or else he got extremely upset. We had to walk a certain way into the school (up the stairs instead of the ramp) and he had to always be allowed to use the key to get in. If someone tried to hold the door open for us or open it first-he would tantrum. So all of this would be the same on the way home from school. Same scenario once we were home. Then at bedtime he would only sleep under a small baby blanket and it had to be the same one. If you tried to cover him up with anything different even after he was asleep he would wake up and realize it and get very angry and kick it off. This is just what a typical day would look like for us. There were lots of other things that would happen between or happen on days that weren't so planned but all in all this is to show how severe it was. Christmas day we were all in tears because everything was upsetting him and causing him to tantrum. Thank God for finally getting him diagnosed and on medicines. All of these things besides his food preferences have changed. I'm so thankful for finally finding someone who knew what to do with our situation. Thank you so much again for writing this blog and if I think of other specific questions I will certainly message you. Oh I do have one question-has your daughter been effected socially due to the disorder. Did kids make fun of her? Do her peers have trouble understanding? What about teachers? Were they helpful or judgemental? We are about to start private school pre-k in the fall and the kids are just getting to the age where they recognize that what Cooper eats is very different from what they eat. I'm curious as to whether or not this will translate into teasing. This is what a typical day would look like for us prior to our son being diagnosed and put on medicine. Our son wakes up and comes into our room looking for me. If my husband talked to him first he fell out on the floor kicking and screaming. He wanted absolutely nothing to do with his dad. He would scream at him, not let him touch him, told him he didn’t love him, etc. etc. So I would get up with him and take him to his bathroom so he could use the potty. His potty stool had to have it’s sticker facing out or otherwise he would move it. He had to be the one to flush the toilet. If I accidentally flushed it without thinking it was absolutely the end of the world and I would regret it for the rest of the day. So then I help him put on his clothes and he only wants red clothing items. And they better not have tags on them or else I had to cut them out or he wasn’t wearing them. We would leave the bathroom and he would walk thru one hallway and I would have to walk thru the other or else he would tantrum. He had to get to the den first or else he would tantrum. If he takes a shower he only wanted a red towel. Had to have a washcloth for his face if water got on it. And our shower has double doors and you could only get him out of one specific door everyday. His breakfast food had to be arranged on his plate in a certain fashion and if his cracker was broken or missing a corner he would not eat it and demand a new one or tantrum. Then he would play with his trains and if the train wheels had hair on them then I would have to wash them off before he would play with them. If the train wheels got off the track or the train didn’t operate just the way he wanted he would tantrum. I had to give him plenty of notice before we left for school so it didn’t happen unexpectedly. He had to have certain things in the car with him or else he would tantrum (chapstick, sunglasses, black gloves). One day we left his navy blue coat at school and all we had was a brown one at home and I thought I was going to have to break into that school and get it. That is how bad the tantrum was. I would panic everytime we would get in the car worried that I would forget something or do something wrong. I was on eggshells. Only I could take him to school during this period and only I could pick him up or else he got extremely upset. We had to walk a certain way into the school (up the stairs instead of the ramp) and he had to always be allowed to use the key to get in. If someone tried to hold the door open for us or open it first-he would tantrum. So all of this would be the same on the way home from school. Same scenario once we were home. Then at bedtime he would only sleep under a small baby blanket and it had to be the same one. If you tried to cover him up with anything different even after he was asleep he would wake up and realize it and get very angry and kick it off. This is just what a typical day would look like for us. There were lots of other things that would happen between or happen on days that weren’t so planned but all in all this is to show how severe it was. Christmas day we were all in tears because everything was upsetting him and causing him to tantrum. Thank God for finally getting him diagnosed and on medicines. All of these things besides his food preferences have changed. I’m so thankful for finally finding someone who knew what to do with our situation. Thank you so much again for writing this blog and if I think of other specific questions I will certainly message you. Oh I do have one question-has your daughter been effected socially due to the disorder. Did kids make fun of her? Do her peers have trouble understanding? What about teachers? Were they helpful or judgemental? We are about to start private school pre-k in the fall and the kids are just getting to the age where they recognize that what Cooper eats is very different from what they eat. I’m curious as to whether or not this will translate into teasing.

]]> Comment on Spoiled Baby or “Budding” Rituals? by Mom http://www.parentsofocd.org/2011/01/09/spoiled-baby-or-budding-rituals/comment-page-1/#comment-14 Mom Sat, 12 Mar 2011 04:32:09 +0000 http://www.parentsofocd.org/?p=92#comment-14 I'm so glad our experiences can be a help to you, but also so sad to hear that you're going through through this with your little son. I know the pain and frustration of trying to convince doctors (and friends and family) that there's more at play than a your son being "picky eater" or behavior/discipline problems. We withstood countless "suggestions" on both fronts for a number of years from lots of people that really didn't "get it". The problem is, if you're not immediate family, you won't "get it". I found it interesting that your son was formally diagnosed at almost the exact age as our daughter, and was showing symptoms really early, as well. We came at it from a different angle (pediatrician-child psychologist-child psychiatrist), but ultimately came to the same conclusion. There is no mistaking the symptoms. The food thing is sure a hard one, huh? Uh, yeah...he would starve himself! It would actually be worth it to hold out for the crunchy bites! I totally get it. Our daughter was more into the layout and exact shapes of her foods. She also had a VERY limited diet, and it mattered who made it, served it, and in what order. I always found it tough to find proteins she'd eat. I'm so glad your son responded well to Celexa. We landed on Zoloft after trying three others. Since it wasn't available or approved for her age (at that time), we had to crush the pills and add it to juice each morning. She's still on Zoloft and responds to it. She's never missed a day (at 16 yrs old). We see her psychiatrist every three months (insurance requirement), which is a good thing, I believe, for him to keep checking with her on dosage. She also takes Focalin for ADHD, which she started about 3 or 4 yrs ago due to severe concentration issues. Homework was taking many hours/night and the Focalin made a HUGE difference for her. She has few to no side effects from her meds. I'll try to re-read my previous posts from the early years and think of more things that might be a help to you. The one thing I CAN say is, hang in there! These are exceptionally smart kids, and they have so much going on in their heads (as if you didn't know), that pretty much no one acknowledges but us. It must be horrible to have to depend so completely on others (ie: us) to establish and carry out the very rituals that will hopefully "scratch the itch" that's driving you crazy. Such is the life of the baby/toddler with OCD, I figure. My husband, my son (the big brother), and I totally know what you're going through (albeit somewhat different symptoms). I wish my daughter could go back in time and articulate what she was thinking back then. Maybe she could help you. She listens to stories of those days and just marvels. We live in the Seattle area and do have lots of resources. The problem with the really young kids is that it's you that needs the "tools" till they are old enough to benefit from the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. We saw the child psychologist about 5 times and he taught us a lot (just prior to medication), then that was it till she was much older. Mostly her appointments consisted of medication management when she was little. Let me know if you can think of any specific questions. I'm so happy to help if I can. Like I said, I'll try to read over my posts. Bless your hearts. All the best to your family... Stay in touch... I’m so glad our experiences can be a help to you, but also so sad to hear that you’re going through through this with your little son. I know the pain and frustration of trying to convince doctors (and friends and family) that there’s more at play than a your son being “picky eater” or behavior/discipline problems. We withstood countless “suggestions” on both fronts for a number of years from lots of people that really didn’t “get it”. The problem is, if you’re not immediate family, you won’t “get it”.

I found it interesting that your son was formally diagnosed at almost the exact age as our daughter, and was showing symptoms really early, as well. We came at it from a different angle (pediatrician-child psychologist-child psychiatrist), but ultimately came to the same conclusion. There is no mistaking the symptoms. The food thing is sure a hard one, huh? Uh, yeah…he would starve himself! It would actually be worth it to hold out for the crunchy bites! I totally get it. Our daughter was more into the layout and exact shapes of her foods. She also had a VERY limited diet, and it mattered who made it, served it, and in what order. I always found it tough to find proteins she’d eat.

I’m so glad your son responded well to Celexa. We landed on Zoloft after trying three others. Since it wasn’t available or approved for her age (at that time), we had to crush the pills and add it to juice each morning. She’s still on Zoloft and responds to it. She’s never missed a day (at 16 yrs old). We see her psychiatrist every three months (insurance requirement), which is a good thing, I believe, for him to keep checking with her on dosage. She also takes Focalin for ADHD, which she started about 3 or 4 yrs ago due to severe concentration issues. Homework was taking many hours/night and the Focalin made a HUGE difference for her. She has few to no side effects from her meds.

I’ll try to re-read my previous posts from the early years and think of more things that might be a help to you. The one thing I CAN say is, hang in there! These are exceptionally smart kids, and they have so much going on in their heads (as if you didn’t know), that pretty much no one acknowledges but us. It must be horrible to have to depend so completely on others (ie: us) to establish and carry out the very rituals that will hopefully “scratch the itch” that’s driving you crazy. Such is the life of the baby/toddler with OCD, I figure. My husband, my son (the big brother), and I totally know what you’re going through (albeit somewhat different symptoms). I wish my daughter could go back in time and articulate what she was thinking back then. Maybe she could help you. She listens to stories of those days and just marvels.

We live in the Seattle area and do have lots of resources. The problem with the really young kids is that it’s you that needs the “tools” till they are old enough to benefit from the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. We saw the child psychologist about 5 times and he taught us a lot (just prior to medication), then that was it till she was much older. Mostly her appointments consisted of medication management when she was little.

Let me know if you can think of any specific questions. I’m so happy to help if I can. Like I said, I’ll try to read over my posts. Bless your hearts. All the best to your family… Stay in touch…

]]> Comment on Spoiled Baby or “Budding” Rituals? by whollan1 http://www.parentsofocd.org/2011/01/09/spoiled-baby-or-budding-rituals/comment-page-1/#comment-13 whollan1 Sat, 12 Mar 2011 01:36:43 +0000 http://www.parentsofocd.org/?p=92#comment-13 Thank you for writing this blog!!! My son who is 3 1/2 was just diagnosed with OCD at the end of Dec and it is really difficult to find anyone who knows or has experience with OCD at this young age. I just happened to stumble upon your blog. I'm considering starting my own. My son is taking 8cc's of liquid Celexa daily. I really think he had OCD from the day he was born. He was such a difficult baby. He first noticed something was terribly wrong when he started rejecting all meats, fruits, and vegetable around 12 to 15 months of age. He would only eat crunchy foods like puffs, crackers, cheerios. We went to an intensive feeding therapy program and received a little help. Most resources that have been available to us in the Memphis area proved to be unhelpful. All anyone could tell us was that he did not have Autism but they couldn't tell us what was causing his problems. As he got older we saw lots of patterns and predictable behaviors but it wasn't until right before his 3rd birthday that it got so bad that our whole day revolved around walking on eggs shells making sure we were anticipating his needs correctly. It was more stressful then I can say but I'm sure you know. We finally stumbled upon a neurologist about 3 hours away from us who has seen multiple children like mine who have severe OCD. He said my son is about an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10:-(. But since we started the medicine he is functioning just like a normal 3 yr old boy with the exception of his eating-still only crunchy starches. We were so thankful to finally get some help. But we have definitely dealt with the run of the mill judgements from others who want to tell us what they think is wrong with our child or how we should deal with his OCD as well as the usual advice you get from people regarding eating difficulties--just don't give him what he wants--he won't starve. If they knew our son, then they would know he would certainly starve himself before he would eat foods outside of his "safe" foods. So glad to find someone on here who understands. Could you tell me more about any struggles you had with your daughter as she got older? Any medication problems? Have you found anything to be particularly helpful that you would pass along? What area are you in? Do you have plenty of resources and support available where you live? Sorry I know I have tons of questions but you are the first person I have found who is writing about something we have been experiencing everyday. Thank you for your time!! Thank you for writing this blog!!! My son who is 3 1/2 was just diagnosed with OCD at the end of Dec and it is really difficult to find anyone who knows or has experience with OCD at this young age. I just happened to stumble upon your blog. I’m considering starting my own. My son is taking 8cc’s of liquid Celexa daily. I really think he had OCD from the day he was born. He was such a difficult baby. He first noticed something was terribly wrong when he started rejecting all meats, fruits, and vegetable around 12 to 15 months of age. He would only eat crunchy foods like puffs, crackers, cheerios. We went to an intensive feeding therapy program and received a little help. Most resources that have been available to us in the Memphis area proved to be unhelpful. All anyone could tell us was that he did not have Autism but they couldn’t tell us what was causing his problems. As he got older we saw lots of patterns and predictable behaviors but it wasn’t until right before his 3rd birthday that it got so bad that our whole day revolved around walking on eggs shells making sure we were anticipating his needs correctly. It was more stressful then I can say but I’m sure you know. We finally stumbled upon a neurologist about 3 hours away from us who has seen multiple children like mine who have severe OCD. He said my son is about an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10:-(. But since we started the medicine he is functioning just like a normal 3 yr old boy with the exception of his eating-still only crunchy starches. We were so thankful to finally get some help. But we have definitely dealt with the run of the mill judgements from others who want to tell us what they think is wrong with our child or how we should deal with his OCD as well as the usual advice you get from people regarding eating difficulties–just don’t give him what he wants–he won’t starve. If they knew our son, then they would know he would certainly starve himself before he would eat foods outside of his “safe” foods. So glad to find someone on here who understands. Could you tell me more about any struggles you had with your daughter as she got older? Any medication problems? Have you found anything to be particularly helpful that you would pass along? What area are you in? Do you have plenty of resources and support available where you live? Sorry I know I have tons of questions but you are the first person I have found who is writing about something we have been experiencing everyday. Thank you for your time!!

]]> Comment on HAS to be Best by Mom http://www.parentsofocd.org/2011/01/06/has-to-be-best/comment-page-1/#comment-12 Mom Tue, 08 Feb 2011 19:08:34 +0000 http://www.parentsofocd.org/?p=79#comment-12 Hi Robin...It sure sounds like you've seen your share of OCD experience! I just used to feel so bad to see someone so young having to be troubled by all the little details. I'll bet he's a smart little guy! I'm so glad he's so physical and can burn-off some of his anxiety. I'd think that would be a helpful distraction. Sometimes distractions worked temporarily, at our house, sometimes not at all, sometimes they completely broke the cycle. It kind of depended on how "bugged" she was and how long that particular "spell" had lasted. Sometimes, putting on a favorite video might help, with a little snack. Do remember to always change-out whatever you're distracting him with, or your "distraction" could become a ritual, too. Now that I know how the disorder "waxes and wanes" in severity, I understand more why distractions worked better some times better than others, like everything else. My next post is going to be about making the whole school experience a little easier for these kids wherever possible. If there's an area that you have questions about and would be interested in how it played out in our house, please just let me know. --All the best to you and your family! Hi Robin…It sure sounds like you’ve seen your share of OCD experience! I just used to feel so bad to see someone so young having to be troubled by all the little details. I’ll bet he’s a smart little guy! I’m so glad he’s so physical and can burn-off some of his anxiety. I’d think that would be a helpful distraction. Sometimes distractions worked temporarily, at our house, sometimes not at all, sometimes they completely broke the cycle. It kind of depended on how “bugged” she was and how long that particular “spell” had lasted. Sometimes, putting on a favorite video might help, with a little snack. Do remember to always change-out whatever you’re distracting him with, or your “distraction” could become a ritual, too. Now that I know how the disorder “waxes and wanes” in severity, I understand more why distractions worked better some times better than others, like everything else.
My next post is going to be about making the whole school experience a little easier for these kids wherever possible. If there’s an area that you have questions about and would be interested in how it played out in our house, please just let me know. –All the best to you and your family!

]]>